Beautiful Hypnobabies Birth of Daniella
(G. was in one of my Hypnobabies Classes and we were always interested to hear what her crazy OB told her next. We were all so relieved when she decided to ditch him and get a homebirth midwife. She ended up having a beautiful homebirth! Here is her story.)
When I was 5 months pregnant and we started to talk about our choices. Epidural or natural? Bottle feeding or breastfeeding? Episiotomy or natural tear? Dry birth or water birth? Most of these I already had a gut feeling like breastfeeding of course and absolutely no episiotomy. I was still up in the air when it came to an epidural because honestly I was more afraid of having the epidural than the pain of labor but there was a lack of confidence that I could really do it on my own. I also had hear some comments about how epidurals affect the baby so I decided to discuss the matter with my doctor who reassured me that epidurals do not pass to the baby and it’s perfectly safe.
I decided to research natural child birth classes anyway and chose a Hynobabies class. We met some great people and most importantly it was a great group for me to discuss all our options when it came to natural childbirth. The class was six weeks long and it seemed that every time I went to class all I kept thinking was how these topics should be things that my doctor should be telling me and discussing with me and giving me options on. Instead every time I went in for an appointment I would leave with information that I had to worry about like, when they checked me to make sure I wasn’t going to go into preterm labor. I was told that my cervix was too short and how the doctor was concerned. It turned out it was fine but I had to wait 4 weeks before finding that out in which I spent the whole time worried.
After some encouragement from the ladies in class, I decided to discuss birthing options with my doctor again and realized that even though he said he would support me in my decision, he really didn’t. He was more concerned about how it was going to affect him. When I told him that I didn’t want any drugs, the first thing he asked me was “what about an epidural?” I told him no epidural, no pitocin and instead of saying something supportive, he told me how long my labor was going to be without those medications and how he might not end up delivering my baby at all if I didn’t take them because he has so many patients and usually women like to get in, get the drugs and get out. This was the first time I wanted to give my doctor the finger. I assured him I was fine with that and continued to tell him, NO DRUGS. The more time went on the less I wanted this doctor to be the one who would deliver my baby our insurance didn’t cover any midwives and we didn’t have the cash. In the end I figured it would all be okay even if I had this crappy doctor because I had started seeing a chiropractor who was helping me a lot and at least I knew my body would be ready for natural birth even if my doctor wasn’t.
Over Christmas vacation I sat Gabe down and discussed how uneasy I was feeling with our doctor and how much I wanted a beautiful birth not a stressful birth that I could see us having if were in a hospital with this doctor. So we decided to interview and hire a midwife and plan for a home birth but keep out doctor just in case we ended up in the hospital. My appointments with my midwife, Sue, were such a pleasure. In comparison to my doctor, Sue spent close to 1 hour with me, asked me what I wanted to do every time she came over and there was a decision to be made and we always discussed the birth, how I was feeling, and the baby.
Finally at what would be my last appointment with my OB I went over my birth plan and left the office feeling small and empty and completely stripped of any rights that I had as a soon to be mother. My doctor told me that he couldn’t sign my birth plan because he didn’t agree with it. He had a problem with waiting 3 minutes before cutting the cord, not giving me pitocin to get my placenta delivered and no episiotomy to name a few. Looking back all I can think is ‘who does he think he is’ telling me what’s going to happen during my birth?’ Those choices were mine to make, not his and from that point on, this “doctor” was out of my life before he got the chance to ruin my birth which turned out to be one of the most beautiful and most powerful experiences of my life.
Daniella was born on Feb 11, 2008 at home at 11:39 p.m., 6lbs 13oz and 21 inches. No episiotomy, no pitocin, no tear!
I started feeling contractions at 3pm. I thought they were just bathroom cramps. About 1/2 hour later Gabe came home and I let him know "hey I'm having some cramps, I'm thinking it's just bathroom problems but you never know...it could be Dani but I doubt it" and he just got this HUGE smile on his face! I told him "don't look at me like that it's not her...”
That morning I had also gotten adjusted and ironically her husband tells me, "You finally look pregnant". Since Jen and I are friends outside of her practice, I decided to call her and ask about Brackston Hicks and the main thing I remember was that she said, “Hicks will go away if you move around and change position...labor contractions won't". Then I started thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, it could be her’ and I got this wonderful peaceful feeling that came over me and I just felt ready.
Everything progressed so quickly. I lost complete track of time so I really didn't have any idea of how long or quickly things were going by until after.
From my perspective, I was in the bathroom, where I felt most comfortable with all my sheets and pillows, for only about 2 hours or so and then my midwife Sue arrived and checked me because she was very surprised that I already had the urge to push and she told me I was 6 cm and that she could feel the head right there. I stayed in the bathroom for a little bit longer until I got rid of dinner that was making it difficult to focus on my contractions and stay relaxed while Sue and her back up midwife, Jake, set up. Finally Gabe asked me if I wanted to move to the tub that he set up in the living room and it felt so wonderful to feel the warm water all over my body. Gabe leaned down and I knew he was going to tell me what time it was but I couldn't stop him since I was in the middle of a contraction and I heard him say "baby it's 11:05pm". I thought wow! Time has flown by. I prepared myself for a long birth because I thought she would be born on the 12th, the next day. The next thing I heard was Sue, on the phone asking her assistant, Meadow, who could only be here a short time since she is allergic to cats and we have 4, say "are you at the gate yet? We're going to have a baby in about 5 minutes", I got so excited and I couldn't believe that I was that close to seeing my precious little girl.
Before my water broke, I felt her head in my vaginal canal, but it felt soft and padded. After my water broke, I felt this intense pressure, I felt my muscles get really tight and I started to feel a burning feeling. For a second there when I was pushing, I started feeling the stretching I lost focus and started to say "ouch" but then I stopped myself and said it's pressure, it's tightening...just tightening and I regained focus and pushed. I felt a contraction and pushed and I heard "the head is out" and with another immediate contraction I felt her shoulders and legs come out and she was finally here!
I turned around from my squatting position and Meadow brought her out from under the water and she gave a cry, the most beautiful cry I had ever heard and my baby girl was immediately put in my arms and I brought her to my chest. She got so quiet and calm and was looking right at me with her beautiful eyes. Gabe got in the water and held her while I waited for my last contraction to push my placenta out. I ended up getting out of the water to deliver my placenta and birthed it right on my couch. I was handed Dani and started breastfeeding while the ladies placed warm towels all over me and Dani and we sat on the couch together for about 2 hours while everyone cleaned up (and of course Gabe felt he had to help them) so it was just her and I discovering each other and making face to face connection for the first time. Once everything was almost cleaned up I was put in bed with 2 hard boiled eggs and a veggie and fruit platter made by Jack. Dani was weighed right on our bed next to me and pretty soon every thing was cleaned up, everyone was gone and the three of us were in bed. Gabe and I couldn't stop looking at her and talking about the whole day and the whole birth experience and what it felt like for each of us.
It still feels like such a blur. I don't remember seeing anyone around me when I was in the birthing tub and like I said I lost complete track of time and Gabe had to clear it up for me...so here goes.
Contractions began 3:00pm
I was in the bathroom for 6 hours NOT 2
Sue showed up at 9:30pm NOT 6pm
I went into the water at 10:00pm
My water broke at 11:13pm
Dani was born at 11:38pm
My placenta was birthed at 12:15am (Feb 12, 2008)
And that's all there is to it :)
For a couple days I felt completely disconnected from the experience because I just couldn't believe that 1) I had a daughter and 2) that I actually did it. I was so worried that I wasn't going to be able to get through it and I did and it was everything that I was hoping it would be and more. Now that everything has settled in I feel so empowered. I feel especially proud to talk about my home birth to people who put so many doubts on me and told me that I was going to be running for the hospital, screaming for the pain medication. Gabe is also proud of me and he always tells people what a "machine" I was and that I made it look easy.
I love telling people that she was born at home, especially when they ask for details and of course I enjoy the compliments of how great I look for having given birth less than a week ago. I feel so blessed that everything happened the way that it did and I next time there will be no other considerations of how and where our baby will be born...it will be at home in a birthing tub with a midwife, no question!